"Clue" Script

Friday, July 9, 2004 at 1:17 AM | Filed under

My cousins, sister, and I have written a script for a movie based on the board game Clue that we're going to make during the last week of July. We wrote this before we knew that they already made a movie based on Clue. I'm bored right now, so I guess I'll post the entire script right here right now.

(Open with Mrs. White writing letters to the other characters in the study, each of the characters read a section aloud for the audience)

Dear Friends,

Mr. Boddy invites you to spend this weekend vacationing at his estate, Boddy Mansion. There will be dinner served in the dining room from our wonderful kitchen, ballroom dancing, and drinks in the lounge, lovely plants and flowers to smell in the conservatory, and good books to read from the library. Not to mention the great hallway leading into the study. There is lots of fun to be had in the billiards room. Oh, don’t forget to bring a personal weapon! You never know if you'll need it!

Sincerely, Mr. Boddy

(Mr. Boddy walks into the room)

BODDY: Have you written the letter?

(White nods once and says ‘mmhmmm’)

________________________________________

(Crossfade to Boddy Mansion exterior. Display title. Each arrives at the Boddy Mansion and is greeted by Mrs. White and Mr. Boddy and Mr. Boddy shakes each guest’s hand)

BODDY: Hello Miss Scarlet. Nice to see you. It’s been a while.

SCARLET: Yes it has!

BODDY: And Professor Plum, how goes the plumbing business?

PLUM: Oh, I’m up to my knees in work.

BODDY: Mr. Green, how is your gardening job doing?

GREEN: It’s the best it’s ever been.

BODDY: Col. Mustard, I haven’t seen you in a long time!

MUSTARD: Yes, (under breath) but not long enough.

BODDY: And Mrs. Peacock, hello!

PEACOCK: Hello. (She waves)

________________________________________

(White takes everyone on a tour of the mansion. She walks slowly, so everybody talks while they wait to get into the next room.)
WHITE: …and this is the lounge…

PEACOCK: Well, this is boring. I already know this mansion like the back of my hand. I used to work here as a chef.

SCARLET: Really? I used to work here as Mr. Boddy’s cosmetologist. I would make him look good before he taped commercials. He fired me when he got replaced by a younger spokesperson.

PEACOCK: Commercials? For what?

SCARLET: I don’t know.

PEACOCK: Boddy fired me when I served him escargot and told him it was snails.

SCARLET: Eww… snails.

GREEN: Did I hear you right? You two used to work here too? I used to be Mr. Boddy’s gardener! But I quit because he wouldn’t give me money to purchase new seeds and tools.

PEACOCK: I wonder if everyone here has worked for Boddy.

WHITE: (irritated) Shush… follow along quietly now.

(Scarlet shrugs)

________________________________________

(Everybody but Boddy is sitting at the table for dinner.)

PLUM: Mrs. White, where is Mr. Boddy?

WHITE: He’s finishing drawing in his Flintstones coloring book. I’ll go get him.

(She exits)

MUSTARD: This food needs more mustard.

PEACOCK: Oooh, mustard. That sounds good. Could you pass the mustard, Mustard?

MUSTARD: (passing the mustard) I invented mustard.

SCARLET: (impressed) Ooooooooooooooooh!

WHITE: Okay, Mr. Boddy is on his way in here. He just has to put away his crayons.

________________________________________

(Afterwards, Mustard, Plum, Green, Peacock, and White sit in the lounge, waiting to play a board game. Scarlet walks in.)

SCARLET:Blech…Mr. Boddy is absolutely hideous!

WHITE: Meh. He takes me for granted…he never says “thank you. ”You know, this mansion has always been in my family. Boddy is just a squatter, who happens to own this mansion. I hate him. He stole my mansion!

MUSTARD: So what, he stole your mansion. He stole my trillion-dollar idea! I hate his guts. He stole my idea for mustard and marketed it, making millions of millions of dollars!

PLUM: He hated my idea of plum mustard. I mean doesn’t that sound good, plum mustard? I think it does. I quit when he threw the plum mustard into my face. I swear, I hate that man.

GREEN: He doesn’t know how to treat people! First of all, he wouldn’t give me any money to buy flower seeds or tools to make gardens. Then he complains when there aren’t any flowers in the garden! So I quit.

PEACOCK: Oh, shut up everybody. I am hateful towards him because I hate everybody. Except my cats. (She pets Ralph, if he’ll stay in her lap)

PLUM: That’s not your cat—

BODDY (walking into the room) LET GO OF KITTY.

________________________________________

(Nighttime. From now on, all of the characters but the investigator wear their pajamas/robes. Scarlet stands in front of Peacock’s door and knocks. After a few seconds, Peacock answers the door, looking annoyed.)

PEACOCK: Yes? ?

SCARLET: Did you hear a noise?
PEACOCK: No, (angrily) I was sleeping.

SCARLET: Oh. Sorry to disturb you. (She turns to walk away.)

PEACOCK: Wait.

(Scarlet turns back.)

SCARLET: Yes?
PEACOCK: Could you give me a makeover?

(Scarlet smiles.)

________________________________________

(Morning. Outside shot of the Boddy Mansion. There is a loud girl-like scream, which comes from Prof. Plum, who stands in the kitchen, staring at Mr. Boddy, who lies dead on the floor. Everyone rushes into the kitchen. Scarlet kneels down next to body, and checks for a pulse, or breathing.)

SCARLET: He’s dead.

(She runs to the telephone and picks it up, dialing 911.)

PEACOCK: I bet Mrs. White did it.

WHITE: I didn’t do it!

PEACOCK: Oh, come on. The butler always does it.

WHITE: I’m not a butler!

GREEN: I didn’t do it either!

(The investigator runs into the scene.)

INVESTIGATOR:I am the private investigator! I will ask everybody in turn about his or her whereabouts last night. Sooooooo… I’ll ask Col. Mustard first!!!!

MUSTARD: (off-guard) You can’t ask the murderer first!

(Everyone laughs except for Mustard.)

MUSTARD: (nervous) Just kidding.

INVESTIGATOR: (turning to Scarlet) Did you do it?

SCARLET: No, I was giving a makeover to Mrs. Peacock all night, I couldn’t possibly have done it.

INVESTIGATOR: You were giving it all night?
SCARLET: She really needed it.

MUSTARD: I didn’t do it!

INVESTIGATOR: What about you plummy?

PLUM: I was too drunk to be able to handle a weapon.

MUSTARD: I was making a sandwich!

INVESTIGATOR: (jokingly) You didn’t happen to use any mustard when making that sandwich, did you?
(Mustard frantically runs from the room into the lounge; everyone gasps.)
(White raises her finger.)

WHITE: Mr. Boddy is deathly allergic to mustard, and I’m the only one who has ever known this, except for Mr. Boddy, and, possibly, Col. Mustard.

PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR: Hmm… there is mustard all over Mr. Boddy’s lips…. . someone must have fed him mustard…poisoning him to his death.

(Everyone else walks into the lounge, watching Mustard twiddle his thumbs.)

MUSTARD: I really did kill Mr. Boddy. Not kidding.

WHITE: How come?

________________________________________

(Flashback! Everything in the flashback is muted. We could even mute the colors. Mustard, Boddy, and several other extras are at a barbeque on Boddy’s back porch. Mustard is spreading some mustard from an unmarked container onto his food.)

MUSTARD VO: Years ago, at a barbeque party Boddy was holding, I put some mustard on a (hot dog/burger). One of his guests asked if she could try some. Of course, I said yes.

(One of the guests spreads mustard on her food. She enjoys it.)

MUSTARD VO: Of course, Boddy wanted to try some too. He didn’t seem to like it too much.

(Boddy, after eating some of the mustard, collapses on the back porch. Everyone rushes around in panic.)

MUSTARD VO: We rushed Boddy to the hospital, and I forgot about the mustard I left on the back porch.

(Zoom in on container of mustard.)

MUSTARD VO: When Boddy returned, he must have realized how popular the mustard was, and marketed it. He got trillions of dollars! All from my idea!

________________________________________

(No more flashback.)

MUSTARD: He didn’t even give me a nickel. All I could do to get revenge was kill him.

INVESTIGATOR: Col. Mustard, you’re under arrest for first-degree murder.

(The investigator will not be on camera for the rest of the movie.)

MUSTARD: Nobody’s taking me to jail!

(He draws out the revolver, his choice weapon.)

(Everyone else, shocked, takes out his/her weapon, aiming at Mustard and everyone else. This lasts for a short while.)

MUSTARD: Time out! (He runs out of the lounge.)

(Everyone chases him. Mustard runs out of the front door, quickly followed by everyone else.)

(Cut to exterior shot of front porch. Everyone runs onto the front doorstep, and looks out, surprised, to see Mustard already driving away. Everyone gives cries of despair, anger, surprise.)

SCARLET: I’ll get you next time, Mustard!!! Next time!

GREEN: We could still catch him.

PEACOCK: I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t.

PLUM: Indubitably.

WHITE: Let’s go try to bring Mr. Boddy back to life!

(Everyone makes sounds of approval and walks back inside.)
The End.

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