Brandon Notices

Happy 2008! Yet another revolution around the sun from this arbitrary point! Our family celebrated by playing several hours of Yahtzee at my aunt's house up north in Bellingham. To supplement the usual snack of Chex Mix, my sister and I made some fortune cookies, and we put specialized messages inside of them!

My sister was in charge of making the batter and putting it in the oven, and I was in charge of folding them. Folding the cookies isn't very hard—the only thing that makes it difficult is that it has to be folded at a temperature of 300 degrees. I had to wear some well insulated gloves, but I still burned my hand a little bit. Nothing serious, though.

I'm going to list a bunch of the fortune cookie messages here. Many of them were inside jokes; I removed those from this list.

• You might not want to eat this cookie... I already licked it.
  
• Everybody likes you. Yay!
  
• This fortune has a crush on you.
  
• You will find true love tonight.
  
• You will excel at something you are good at.
  
• You will find true love on Valentine's Day.
  
• You will find a lucky penny! ☺
  
• Turn that frown upside-down!
  
• You will realize the secret to making delicious sandwiches at midnight.
  
• One must be crazy to expect help from a cookie.
  
• This fortune will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
  
• The star of stupidity is shining on you.
  
• You have misfortune stuck in your teeth.
  
• This little slip of paper doesn't have any answers for you.
  
• Keep this fortune in a safe place. You never know when it might come in handy.
  
• Please don’t open this fortune cookie. Thank you.
  
• Beware of advice.
  
• All I really need to know I learned from scraps of paper.
  
• Your stupidity is your greatest enemy.
  
• You will soon be more aware of your growing awareness.
  
• You are not not not not not not not not not going to die today.
  
• Redeem this code for a shot at $5,000! 3HJ5SC6M2WSAH
  
• This fortune will not come true.
  
• Don't read this fortune or you will get bad luck.
  
• Don't look under your bed this week.
  
• Your luck just ran out.
  
• Poof! Now you're a frog!
  
• Don’t read this aloud.
  
• This fortune no verb.
  
• When fortune cookies are outlawed, only outlaws will have fortune cookies.
  
• Congratulations! You have won!
  
• Wise man sees no point in killing a dead horse.
  
• When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. It's what's inside that counts.