Brandon Notices

A lot of idiots think that you get drowsy after the Thanksgiving meal because of the tryptophan in the turkey. (A lot of non-idiots think this too.) But you know what? The tryptophan is not really that effective in making you sleepy. You would have to eat hundreds of turkeys to get drowsy.

Here is a list of things that are more likely to contribute to your Thanksgiving nap:

• You didn't get any sleep overnight because you were excited about Thanksgiving.
• You couldn't sleep because you were worried about burning the turkey.
• You didn't get enough sleep because you had to wake up early to watch the parade.
• You exhausted yourself mashing the potatoes.
• You exhausted yourself setting the table.
• Someone mixed sleeping pills into the stuffing.
• The fumes from the cranberry sauce sapped your energy.
• You ate 100 turkeys and the tryptophan levels became significant.
• You overworked yourself chewing all that food.
• You drank too much wine during the meal.
• You ate too much food and all your blood started being used to digest the food.
• You crashed after the sugar high you got from the pumpkin pie.
• You got bored listening to mindless chatter during the meal.
• After the meal, you flopped yourself onto the couch and relaxed too much.