Brandon Notices

Just ten minutes ago, I was just sitting on a bench near Frosh Pond, minding my own business, eating the last of my Doritos when a mallard jumped out of the pond and walked across the pathway and stood within a yard of the bench. "Sorry, duck," I said. I didn't have any more Doritos—I had just finished them off. And even if I did have any, I wouldn't give him any because I can't imagine Doritos being very good for ducks.

But he just sat there, looking at me. I tucked my empty bag of Doritos into my backpack and the duck just kept standing there. Eventually, he turned 90 degrees to his left, but I could still see him eyeing me. Then shortly after that, he turned 90 more degrees so that his back was toward me. But his head was still turned so he could eye me. Then he made a brown watery duck poo and continued to stand there. This is the point during which I got up and walked away from the duck.

My cat's been glaring at me. What can I do to get him to stop it?